The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
