you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
