And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
