lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
