I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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