I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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