Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
smell my finger.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
