Swine flu is the new snow day.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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