What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize