first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
