Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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