Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
