Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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