maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
