i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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