i would punch a child for taco bell
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
