Porn is love you can see.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
