my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
