absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
