Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
