You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
