she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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