GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
