I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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