Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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