I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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