Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
there's paper in my vomit.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
