you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
