SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
