Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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