I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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