If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
