We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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