U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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