Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
