Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
wanna go halves on a baby?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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