I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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