So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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