do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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