Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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