I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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