quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
