I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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