Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
They are going to name an STD after you.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
