Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
