Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Panties = found
Randomize
