Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
