I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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