he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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