I love black thongs
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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