yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we're making bets on your personal life
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize