I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Send help, water and tortillas.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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