Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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