Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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