I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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