He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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