you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
