he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize