it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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