remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
