I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize