so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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