He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
