can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
