ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
